## 14 December 2015

Caleb: “Dad, will you do my maths homework for me tonight?”

Dad: “No, it wouldn’t be right”

Caleb: “ Well, at least you could try!”

## 30 November 2015

Quackers

Bill is walking down the street with a sack of ducks over his shoulder.

His friend Sam asks “What do you have in the sack, Bill?”

Sam says “If I can guess how many ducks you have in that sack can I have one of them?”

Bill answers ”If you can guess how many ducks I have in this sack you can have both of them!”

## 19 October 2015

You might be a future mathematics teacher if:

You are fascinated by the equation y = ex.

You know, off by heart, the first 50 digits of π.

You know ten ways to prove Pythagoras’ Theorem.

Your telephone number is the sum of two prime numbers.

Your car number plate is an arithmetic sequence.

You are sure that quadratics equations are a very useful tool.

You have tried to prove Fermat’s Last Theorem.

You comment to your best friend that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

## 14 September 2015

 Question: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Answer: Ten tickles.

## 7 September 2015

 The Romans did not find mathematics very challenging because x was always equal to 10.

## 31 August 2015

 A statistician can have his head in a micro-wave and his feet in a bucket of ice and say that on average he feels fine.

## 17 August 2015

 There are three kinds of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't!

## 10 August 2015

 Student A: "How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?" Student B: "Ten, one to change the bulb, one to hold the ladder and seven to watch."

## 3 August 2015

 Student A: "How many seconds are there in a year?" Student B: "That's far too hard to work out!" Student A: "No its not. There are only 12 seconds in a year. January the second, February the second...!"

## 20 July 2015

 Plumbers have to be quite good at some types of mathematics and science. Bill the Plumber was not! He put taps on both end of the bath to keep the water level.

## 29 June 2015

 Did you hear the one about the boy who failed to take the mathematics test on decimals? He couldn't see the point.

## 22 June 2015

 Doctor Bill: Did you take my advice about not being able to sleep? Patient Ben: Yes I did, I counted sheep and I got to 482,354. Doctor Bill: And did you fall asleep? Patient Ben: No, it was time to get up!

## 15 June 2015

 Question: What do you call a broken angle? Answer: A rectangle!

## 8 June 2015

 Student: Teacher, I can’t solve this problem. Teacher: Any six year old should be able to solve this one. Student: No wonder I can’t do it then, I’m nearly fourteen!

## 1 June 2015

 Why did George take a ruler to bed one night? Answer: So he could measure how long he had been asleep!

## 25 May 2015

 Teacher: Now for some algebra, George, what is 3k + 2k? George: 5000